Exceptions to my taste

I love old songs. Even though i usually say i hate slow songs and old songs are mostly slow, i just love the feel to them. I believe it has got to do with this thankless nature of mine for not valuing the time i live in but wanting to go back to those simpler times, as my parents like to call it. Plus duh, songs must mean something!! and if not, they should be loud enough for me to not be able to hear anything. Otherwise, it’s trash for me. Which is why mostly, i don’t listen to the common songs. It’s a common occurrence how most of you go for the tune you can dance to, or play your guitar to. I need something that speaks what i want to say and say nothing when i want to be quiet.

 

Why am i like this

Have you ever felt like if something you’re imagining happened, you’ll go nuts? Have you ever lived through your wildest imaginations and couldn’t believe you had it in you to be able to survive? I know you have!

A lot of my close peers think I try and act innocent and that is true..or I know stuff but I don’t want to share it ..true again ! I do know A LOT of shit probably before any of them had any idea about it but what is truer than all of the rest is that I don’t want to know anymore. That is the result of unwanted information coming into your life. I am not curious and I never have been about most things that gross me out when discussed in detail. Most things that are normally taken as jokes are downright insulting for me!! But there’s absolutely not a single soul that knows about it or will ever hear these words out of my mouth. I don’t laugh on the jokes that are supposedly funny for most, I don’t want to join in what I have practically dragged myself out of, what I put my hands on my ears to stop myself listening to. Simply because I am saving my sanity! Regardless of how naive or uninformed people call me, my tolerance knows bounds that even I am surprised about. Luckily, it has started to make more sense of why I stand like a knight with a shining armor for everything that threatens to kill the image I want to stick with me for life.

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Why I hate shopping

1.  THE WALKING AROUND! let’s be very honest, all these shops packed in the same space one after another  with only different names but the same lights have more or less the same stuff but no no, one just can’t simply choose what they absolutely love from the first shop only because they’re a freaking cat and curiosity might kill them. Sheer dumbness. adding to the reason why this particular clause tops the list is because one will simply return back and look again in all those shops THEY JUST PASSED BY. I have zero patience when it comes to shopping, tbh. And by this point, if youre this person, you should stop conversing with me because most probably you’re already dead for me. I am not even exaggerating. also, wait for it !!

2) THE ONE PERSON THAT WILL ALWAYS PUSH YOU! okay so this isn’t general..but it always happens with me no matter how uncrowded the place is. I swear people need to chill!!! like I do. mostly I can’t hear the excuse mes coming my way ( MOSTLY THERE ARE NO EXCUSE MES)because I’m too busy playing sudoku on my cellphone hence the next best option for them is to push and move right past me. ANDthey will always always be triple my size. How sweet. I’ve got only one thing to say to these people.. SEE YOU IN HELL!!!

3) THE ANNOYING BABIES CRYING AND THE MEN! okay I am sorry, I do believe in gender equality but really? what do men have to do in a very biased women’s shopping market? that too, in one of the most crowded markets of the city. Can’t some women keep their men at home and leave their useless babies at home with the useless men and just bring their money if THAT is the issue. How hard is it? And omg the babies, all they do is cry and I don’t blame the little ones, I feel them, totally. If I could, I’d do the same but, sadly.. I have numbers added to my age. double digits that is.

4) THE USELESS CRAP FROM THE SHOPKEEPERS! This is just sad. because I just sit back with the most pathetic expression I can make and let the elders do the talking BUT BUT these shopkeepers will always have to have something to comment on me. I mean what? do I owe you something? you should LITERALLY mind your own business. For instance, this one shopkeeper kept asking my mom if I am her daughter or the daughter in law,  I MEAN COME ON YOU BLIND IDIOT. that’s not it btw, The reason his pea sized brain could think of was BECAUSE APPARENTLY I LOOKED LIKE A PERSON FROM A COMPLETELY ANOTHER CASTE, RACE whatever and i shall be honest, i dont even remotely look like the people from that caste..but my mom and sister could totally be mistaken as one..I mean how blind can you be??!

5) THE BARGAINING/CONCESSION! ! The only time in the whole torture where I feel hopeful of seeing my bed again is exactly when this part comes. The sweet moment when the shopkeeper tells you the price a thousandth time but you MUST act like it’s the first time you hear It. AND THEN PROPOSE A PRICE THAT EVEN I WOULDNT WANT TO BUY IT ON. This Is the only  part btw, where the tables turn, and i honestly feel like I am a fool. Because to be honest, why would any person in their right mind come to half the price they first told you if they didn’t have the intention of totally ripping you off. Bless these tactics my mom has which I still haven’t acquired, for it’s the reason we still have food to eat :’) Each time after the bargaining goes successful, my faith is restored in the phrase time Is money. because honestly, it takes quite some time to save your money.

HAHAHA. sorry for totally ruining the meaning of that phrase. it’s bullshit anyways.

OKAY THAT HELPED ! Now I can sleep in peace.

 

 

 

Kids

How do you define happiness?! If you notice, it Isn’t one whole day or even one complete hour of happiness. it’s just that very moment and instance where your Insides feel a surge of excitement for any reason. It may last longer but it’s only that one instance that I personally define happiness as. That is enough of a reason to value and treasure the people things or moments that may help you live through these brief instances. Happiness is also when you forget about everything else. especially something that’s stuck in your heart like an arrow. I am not a big fan of kids tbh. no one would believe that. They are actually truly ..nvm..I am actually very impatient. but out of general courtesy I don’t mind spending time with them also because I believe this is is my happiness. That’s my general opinion on kids. but then I have my favorites. These are my first cousins. I’d do anything for them just out of love no matter what age they reach. Maybe because I’ve picked them up as newborns and now seeing them all grown up just melts my heart. I still don’t like any other kids though. esp if they’re ever mine. haha xD and by liking I mean, I won’t spend my time on them.

 

Colors

You told her red means love,

so when she bled at the oppression,

she thought its love

you told her blue is the water,

so when she cried a million tears,

she felt her thirst quench

you told her yellow is the falling of leaves,
so she wore yellow forgetting about the spring
you told her, black is for the mourning
so she wore black for the rest of her life
you told her white brings bad luck to the alive
so she stopped wearing white often

you forgot to tell her though
that colors, all of them, define only what you see
that without red, blue and yellow
black can never be
the light within her
is greater than the magic of light
which makes you see
the colors your mind defined and then you let it be
blessed to see the colors around
Aren’t we blessed further?

Beyond our eyes, is our mind

So don’t you ever wilfully fall for perjure!

It takes negative to build a positive.

I’ve known disappointment creep into the deepest corners of my soul. I’ve known the beauty of one single ray of hope making its way inside of me through the smallest hole of faith. I have known to fall and fall hard on the ground and I never learnt getting up until I realized why I was on the ground.. It takes courage to battle something external but it’s downright dauntless to fight something that has made its home within you. It takes pain, a lot of pain, to heal you once and for ever. It takes betrayal to teach you loyalty. It takes darkness to realize the beauty of darkness only. It takes rejection from friends, close friends, soul sisters,soul mates to make you realize your priorities, and their’s too. It takes depression to learn how to respect someone else’s. It takes sleeping pills to remain sane. It takes the hate for rainfalls to learn the gratitude of a sunny day. It takes living a nightmare to stop fearing the characters in it. But most importantly, it takes willing distance, half hearted prayers, deep ignorance, blessings and all of the above, to finally, eagerly, beg and crave for Him, His love, His help and His attention. It takes negative to build a positive. It takes negative to build a positive. It takes negative to build a positive.